Being a freelance musician is wild. I have mentioned this before! There are pros and cons to freelancing, subbing, and playing in multiple groups, but there are some real challenges as well. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reflecting on the good, the bad, and the weird aspects of freelancing and subbing.
Subbing is like constantly auditioning all while being a chameleon.
Good subs quickly read the room, get the vibe of the group, play really well, don’t do anything to get negatively noticed, then go about their merry way. It’s wild if you think about it, but it is really hard to do and sometimes we make mistakes.
The Golden Rules of Freelancing
- Play the best you can
- Blend in
- Behave professionally
These golden rules are great, but no one gets it right 100% of the time.
Freelance Musician = Constant Audition Feeling
When you’re subbing and playing with different groups of people it feels like a constant audition- as if you’re constantly being judged for how you walk, talk, play, eat, interact, etc. It is exhausting and not an easy position to thrive in. And yes, I said eat. No one really talks about spending hours backstage with people when not playing, but it’s a thing.
We don’t get it right all the time, I certainly do not. Sometimes we make musical mistakes, sometimes we make communication mistakes, and sometimes we just miss the mark entirely.
We all Make Mistakes
It happens. It is all about how we handle those things in the moment and after.
What’s scary as a freelancer is how the fear of messing up can derail us, which is really unhealthy. No one is perfect and there needs to be some grace out there, but I’ve found that grace is hard to come by these days. It’s hard to extend it to ourselves and to others.
If you find yourself in the wrong- no matter how you got there- take ownership and apologize. We can only control ourselves, we cannot control the reactions of others. Things will either work out or they won’t, but you can only control you.
Feeling like an Outsider
The feeling of being an outsider is not a fun one. When you’re new somewhere and no one knows you, it can be very isolating.
An Introvert’s Nightmare
People don’t know how to read you and how to interact all the time, and that can feel like walking in a minefield. For someone like me, who is very private, introverted, and needs a lot of space, it can be a huge challenge especially when working with people who are the opposite and are quick to judge. While I may present on stage as a performing personality- that’s my stage persona- not my personal one.
Take a Step Back
I have found myself, more than a few times, over the past couple of years having to take a step back and start again. I keep reminding myself that when I moved:
- Back to GA in 2009 I started over, made mistakes, learned from them, then kept going.
- To Houston in 2013 I started over, made mistakes, learned from them, then kept going.
- To N.E Florida in 2023 I started over, made mistakes, learned from them, then kept going.
It isn’t easy to move around and start again. It takes time to find your people. It takes time to find the gigs you are a yes for. As a freelancer, you end up taking a lot of things at the beginning to try and make it work, then you learn and curate your schedule and choose what you are a yes for a little differently as you establish yourself. This is normal, but the process isn’t perfect and YES you are going to make mistakes, and yes you are going to have to work with people who are challenging, and yes you’re going to get frustrated, but there will also be wins.
Buck Up Buttercup!
There will be good people. There will be good musical experiences. Of course there will be the opposite too, but that’s just life.
Stay the course, and don’t expect perfection from yourself or others. If you do, you’re just setting it all up to fail. When grace is hard to come by, extend some to yourself first, then you might just have some left over for others.
